Thursday 18 October 2012

Chris Port Blog #342. ‘Antihuntish’, or ‘The Little Hunt Who’s Not All There’


Antihuntish, or The Little Hunt Who’s Not All There
(with apologies to Hughes Mearns)
© Chris Port, 18th October 2012


Yesterday, in splendid wealth
I met the Secretary for Health
Or was it Culture? I don’t know
I wish I could behead the oaf…

He told a grinning peasant joke
That tickled me like poison oak
So Philip asked him “Who are you?”
And left the little prick subdued.

Go away, go away, or I’ll ring my servant bell!
Go away, go away, no don’t touch it, you Hunt... (Hell!)

Last night I saw upon the news
A grubby man with ghastly views
He wasn’t there on VE day
Oh, how I wish he’d go away.



*     *     *     *     *     *

Antigonish, or The Little Man Who Wasn’t There
Hughes Mearns, 1899


Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
I wish, I wish he’d go away...

When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door... (slam!)

Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away

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