Sunday, 9 October 2011

Chris Port Blog #317. 'With This Ring...'

My brother-in-law is writing a wedding column. He's after stories about men and wedding rings. I think he wants true stories or opinions. I came up with a ghost story instead. ‘With This Ring…’

With This Ring...
© Chris Port, 9th October 2011

A husband and wife have grown old together. One brittle November sunset, walking past black dripping trees, the man turns to his wife and says,

“My, how cold the bones get. My darling wife, if I die first, will you bury me with my wedding ring? I should like to think of you in my long sleep.”

His wife agrees.

The next morning, she awakens to find her husband dead beside her. She respects his last wishes and buries him with his wedding ring.

The lonely months go by. Times become hard, then harder. Soon, there is no money. The wife remembers her husband’s wedding ring. It is solid gold. If she pawned it, she could eat. Surely her husband would not begrudge her food? And after all, what need have the dead of gold? ‘Til death us do part’ was the promise. She had kept her part of the bargain.

The widow waits until sunset. She creeps to the graveyard. An owl watches as she digs up her husband’s coffin. She avoids looking at the rotted face she once loved. With tweezers, she prises the cold gold from his skeletal finger. She reinters him and returns home.

Placing her prize on the bedside table, she falls into a troubled sleep. A voice whispers,

“I can’t remember you…”

She wakes up in terror. The house is silent. Eventually she falls back into bad dreams. The voice whispers,

“Is this where I live?”

She wakes up again. Silence. Then back to her nightmares. The voice whispers again,

“I am coming to bed, my darling”.

This time, she does not wake up. She lies there like a tiny forest animal, too frightened to breathe, playing dead. She hears slow, horribly familiar footsteps approach the bed. She dare not look. She feels the covers slowly pulled down by horribly familiar hands. She dare not move. The bed moves like a stomach dropping as a horribly familiar weight settles next to her.

“Oh the bed’s a fine and private place,” whispers a horribly familiar voice, “and we I think do there embrace…”

The next morning, the wife is found dead in her bed.

“Heart attack,” says the Doctor. “Probably died of a broken heart. They were inseparable”.

The removal men come to take away everything of value. But of the gold wedding ring, there is not a trace…

*           *           *           *           *           *           *

The Wedding Ring by A. Le Braz

More ghostly tales of the macabre... 

The Thing Inside The Ring

Amazing Stories - The Wedding Ring

A wax museum dresser takes a ring from a statue. The ring transforms his overworked wife into a femme fatale, not unlike the ring's previous owner - who killed her three husbands…

*           *           *           *           *           *           *

The 12 Strangest Wedding Rings

10 Most Bizarre Wedding Rings

75 Rejected Wedding Ring Inscriptions

  1. A lifetime is all that I need… (to wreck yours)
  2. A Perfect Fit … (until I ate that box of ho hos)
  3. All My Heart … (and all my family, including Mom who hates you)
  4. Always and forever … (nagging you)
  5. Baby, I’m Amazed By You … (that you’re so gullible)
  6. Body, Mind And Heart … (I own your ass)
  7. Bound To An Angel … (a Hell’s Angel)
  8. Burning for you … (or maybe that’s the Gonorrhea)
  9. Committed to you … (I should be committed BY you to a mental facility)
  10. Don’t Hope, Believe … (I’ll leave)
  11. Endless Love … (of cats)
  12. Eternally Yours … (like fruitcake)
  13. Eternity … (pray for death)
  14. Everything I Do, I Do It For You … (except that stuff I do to myself when you’re gone)
  15. Faithful & True … (just not to you)
  16. For Whither Thou Goest I Will Follow … (thanks to the unenforceable stalker laws)
  17. For You Alone … (can drive me nuts)
  18. Forever … (or until something better comes along)
  19. Forever Dancing To The Beat Of Your Heart … (and I can’t wait for it to stop)
  20. Forever Entwined … (in debt)
  21. Forever Friends … (in a platonic kind of way)
  22. Forever In My Heart … (and in my wallet)
  23. Forever Together … (even in the bathroom)
  24. Forevermore … (stupid Raven)
  25. Forget Me Not … (or my lawyer will make sure you remember)
  26. Friends & Lovers … (Well, friends)
  27. From This Day Forward … (you will have no peace or piece)
  28. Grow Old With Me … (until your secretary finishes high school)
  29. I Could Not Ask For More … (but I will anyway)
  30. I did … (with your brother)
  31. I Do Not Wish To Love Any Other … (right now, but the day isn’t over)
  32. I Finally Found You … (stop trying to get away!)
  33. I found love, and love was you … (and your sister)
  34. I Have Nothing More To Give You But My Heart … (I just didn’t know you’d take it from my ass)
  35. I Knew From The Moment I Met You … (because you slept with me that night)
  36. I love you period … (just not YOUR period)
  37. I Promise You Forever … (without parole)
  38. I’m Amazed By You … (how can someone so stupid not get hit by a car?)
  39. It’s Been You All The Time … (looking in my bathroom window)
  40. Joy without end (will end without joy)
  41. Life Has Begun … (to get really bad)
  42. Love • Faith • Honesty … (• Misery • Therapy)
  43. Love Conquers All … (mercifully, so does death)
  44. Love, honor and obey. … (Yeah right)
  45. Mine … (all your stuff)
  46. My Cup Runneth Over … (clean that up you slob)
  47. My Dream Came True … (Nightmares are dreams, right?)
  48. My Life Began With You … (and ended with you too)
  49. Never shall we be parted … (those handcuffs are titanium!)
  50. No holding back … (my farts anymore)
  51. Now I Am Complete … (-ly in control)
  52. Share Everything … (well your stuff)
  53. Solid Gold … (digger)
  54. Sparkle Of My Life … (twinkle in my pants)
  55. Take me … (shopping)
  56. Thank the Lord … (No more blowjobs)
  57. The Best Things Are Free … (but you need to buy me everything else)
  58. This the best … (I will ever look)
  59. Til My Dying Day … (preferably from natural causes)
  60. Today I Married My Friend … (boy was my fiancĂ© pissed)
  61. Two Bodies, One Life … (sentence if we got caught)
  62. With Arms Wide Open … (and mouth that never closes)
  63. Wrapped around my finger … (just like you)
  64. You are my life … (sentence)
  65. You Are So Beautiful … (when you’re naked)
  66. You Are The Reason … (they made Prozac)
  67. You Are The Reason I Am … (not in police custody)
  68. You give me butterflies … (or is that gas?)
  69. You Own My Heart … (and apparently my ass too)
  70. You’re the best … (I could do)
  71. You’re Still The One … (who won’t close the bathroom door)
  72. You’re still the One … (who pays my bills)
  73. You’re The Answer To My Everything … (or so you keep telling me)
  74. You’re The Answer To My Prayers … (Why does God hate me?)
  75. XOXOXOXO … (You suck at tic-tac-toe)

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